That "role" meaning actively producing, making, gathering, repairing whatever it might be for the survival of the group. No bums, no lay-abouts; every person having a mission to keep the hive well and strong. That concept took me to thinking about the roles we commonly accept today in a non-survival situation. Both men and women working in the community, and then coming home to a family life. Each have home life roles too, depending on the situation. Men generally mow lawns, repair, and share in household activities if so inclined. Women frequently take on a greater role in the maintenance of the household-cooking, cleaning, and chores associated with upkeep of the children. Ok, so don't shoot me on this...I am speaking in generalities here. Some people (guys and gals) do more or less within their respective situations.
IMHO, I think that in a SHTF situation, there will be an immense shift in the he-she roles at home. Many families may not have two bread winners anymore. Whoever becomes unemployed first will likely become a more dominant force at home. How is that going to play out? I can see this going a couple of different ways.
Say the guy's job goes first, and he assumes the stay at home role. How is this going to shake out with the guy's wife being the breadwinner? What about the high-flyer female CEO who loses her job and has to revert to being a stay at home mom and her new job being at the home? We are talking a matter of egos.
I think this will stress a lot of relationships if the he-she roles have always been delineated along traditional family roles. I think maybe the less traditional family might have a better chance survival if both partners are active participants in household and child-rearing activities. Just one of those things that have been niggling at the base of my brain for awhile
I have been reading about bloggers who write about gathering the extended family into a more or less compound-like setting. I guess this would work if the members of the family have stayed in a single community and have remained an engaged extended family with all members knowing and accepting the quirks, strong points and foibles of the other members. Never really thought about the consequences of reuniting family members in times of crises, especially when a particular family has been scattered to the winds and have gone their separate ways. That is until recently.
A woman friend recently had her husband's brother and his family foisted upon their family. The brother had lost his job and home, and there was little else that could be done to prevent this family from being homeless. Without consent, this addition to her home has shattered her home life, sexual intimacy and left her with all the responsibilities of a now larger home environment. The friend and her sister-in-law do not get along, the two children are boorish, spoiled and demanding. What had been a tolerable set of in-laws, are now seen as invaders.
I wonder how people will cope if extended but not necessarily agreeable family members are re-united for the sake of survival. Taking this concept to the extreme, how will we cope with unexpected family members showing up at our doors expecting to be invited in as guests? Can we afford to have non-productive family members living off our largess without lifting a single finger to maintain the family unit?
I am a loner with little to no extended family. I wouldn't know how to cope with a huge extended family descending on me, expecting me to take them in and provide for them. Loss of privacy, space and quiet would probably stress a lot of people.
What do you think about this? How will folks cope in a SHTF with unexpected family members showing up. How easy will it be to cope with family quirks?
8 comments:
Despite the very diverse nature of all in our family, we remain close. Whilst I am sure there would be differences, I am also certain that as adults we could find a compromise if the hardest of times demanded we live in the same house.
Not all are so lucky, and for those I feel, the challenges ahead in the years to come will demand some compromise....from us all.
Hey Warrior...I am a loner as well, even though I have a average size family with sisters, nephews, neices, sons, grad kids and all...but that being said, I am not sure I could stay civil for a long period of time with folks so far removed from my ways of thinking.
I try and get along, but I have certain boundries that I do NOT allow anyone to cross. I can compromise, but I never give in.
Guess I've lived alone too long to totally give up my Hermit ways...
Molly: I sure hope you are right about people needing to compromise. I am used to compromise but I am one that has been/am prepping and I am not sure I could take well to slackers. I am already called the kitchen nazi because I run a tight ship in my kitchen. But I would find ways to teach and steer folks to the proper and safe way to handle kitchen activities. Challenges, you bet.
Hey, Hermit. I too have boundries that can't be crossed. I am a quiet, soft spoken person, but once crossed, look out. I am working on my short fuse thing. I am the strong one that has always been the go-to person which has always given me a lot of personal power. I will just have to continue to be the strong one, and learn to be more accepting and be more of a teacher.
Bought me some more canning lids, too bad my family couldn't be here learning how to can. My canned butter turned out magnificently, so now I am working on learning how to can potatoes. I love cheese on just about everything, so I have decided that canning cheese is one of my next projects. The hydroponic tomatoes are coming along, and will put up another picture. Be sure to keep the coffee going, you will probably have a lot of visitors today because us preppers like chatting with you!!
warrior
Just found your blog, WOW! I dont know if you have read this, but take a look...
http://survivalmonkey.com/Lights%20Out.htm
Interesting reading.
these are thoughts that cross my mindfield daily..most of my immediate family, aside from having the knowledge of my love for them, know also, that if they bring nothing tangible, be it food, weapons, tools, or enough goods to pay the entrance fee, had best remember the names and opinions they have directed my way these past few years, all the cajoling, explaining, and out and out verification of the storm ahead has always been met with the attitude that I am the oddball..recently, I have let it be known,,it costs, everything, to be quartered with my small(two family, not blood related) clan.
Total subservience until proven ability is expected and any deviation is unacceptable to the point of expulsion,,and this includes my li sister, who besides my kids i love the mostest.and not her chidren, save new baby.HER(kids moms) family, has already been educated in 12g gutshots, nuff said....no, it won't be easy,,but i;m hard enough when it comes to those who hve prepped and worked alongside me with no reervations that we had a goal....moving will help. as no one but us two males know the ultimate location. no doubt, i know my heart and head shal suffer endlessly, but my words have been rebuffed too mant times,,keeping my clan fed and safe is all there is initially..uniting with other ould happen, dangerous as it is,,and viable trade will be established when possible...so yea, i plan to share, with like minded or equipment endowed relatives,,been enough places to know for a fact, i shall not falter in established parameter...end..erik
That's exactly what it's gonna take, I reckon. Adaptation to, ahem... "change" is the hallmark of survival. Adapt and overcome, by any means necessary.....
Warrior, just seen a comment you left over at Riverwalkers about the GA Preppers Network....well...ya know it's just sitting there waiting for ya. You know Cliff is watching and wanting to help out. What do ya think, you and I both know you would be great for it and it may be great for you too. Hop on over and read the whole thing and leave a comment that you want to take it over. That easy. You know I will help all I can too. I am playing a small part in American Preppers Network and trying to help get these state networks filled and up and running. Think it over. Get back to me, wanting to hear from ya.
Bullseye
Every house must have a master! OK, plenty of modern American households are co-mastered by husband and wife. It works out just fine.
but if others come into this community, it MUST be with the understanding that the original master still is! A woman in a home with her children is still Mistress of that house. Everyone else must remain a guest, and act like it, or fur will fly. It cannot become a democracy or you have cheated the person who worked for that house out of his ownership.
Any new-comers to a community (even if it only a single family home) must be told this up front or not join. "It's mine. It's going to stay mine. You only get a say if I say so. Treat me, and mine, like you respect us. If we can't function with you here, you must go. "We" are not sharing, YOU are."
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